


Don't breathe too deep

by mehsarah



Series: Foster Dad Lin Oneshots [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, FosterDadLin, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Panic, Sickfic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:19:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mehsarah/pseuds/mehsarah
Summary: Alex is scared of doctors.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a second part of The Feeling of home and after a prompt from Rachel.I ate three packs of pom bears while writing this.Enjoy.  
> Title is from rent but you theatre nerds already knew that.

The alarm clock on his nightstand read 3:41.Although it was late and he hadn`t slept in a while something was keeping his eyes from staying shut.`We're gonna go to a doctor tomorrow.`thats what Lin had said.And it didn`t seem too terrifying at the time.It had seemed like an uncomfortable necessity and he had pushed the thought of it far away immediately after it came.Now when nothing could distract him from it and sleep was far away he just realised what a problem it was.He was terrified of doctors.Doctors meant a diagnosis that took his mother away,a diagnosis that told the truth about his old foster father,a diagnosis that he couldn`t hide or run from.

　

The disturbance in his mind seemed to reach his body as he started sweating and clenching his hands in an attempt to stop them from shaking.He tried telling himself that this was beyond silly,that normal people didn`t mind going to the doctor and he shouldn`t either and that he should just fucking stop and go to sleep.And then the tears came and he cursed them and himself but couldn`t stop them from flowing into his pillow.

　

At the same time Lin set a last dot on the sheet of paper in front of him and shut out the lamp that was illuminating it.He knew it was late but when his urge to write overcame him he couldn`t resist it.Making his way upstairs to his bedroom he decided to quickly check if Alex was sleeping well.He didn`t want his condition to get worse by a new strike of insomnia.Approaching the door to Alexs room he froze in his steps when he heard the unfortunately familiar noise of him sobbing.He clenched his hand and stopped himself from rushing into the room.He didn`t want to scare his foster son.

　

So he slowly pushed the door open.Alex noticed the stream of light falling into the room and looked up."Dad?"he muttered and Lin felt moved and devastated at the same time as the boy quickly wiped away his tears,trying to hide them."Can i come to you?"he asked carefully and Alex sat up and nodded.The room was lighted poorly but it was impossible to miss that every feature of him screamed fear.

　

Sitting down next to him on the bed Lin softly raised his voice again."Are you feeling worse?Should i drive you to the hospital?" At hearing the last words a shiver ran through Alexs body."No!"he almost yelled.Lin looked at him in confusion and Alex immediately realised how weird it all must seem to him."I mean i`m fine.No need."he quickly corrected himself.Seeing that Lin didn`t believe him at all he added:"Seriously.Please,just go to sleep."

　

Lin sighed."Not until you tell me what`s wrong,for real this time."Alex fustrated buried his face in his pillow and his foster father placed his hand on his shoulder."Mijo,you know i won`t get mad,right?" "Please just go to sleep."he groaned into his pillow but Lin wasn`t even thinking about it."No.Talk to me."he insisted and pulled Alex away from the pillow and into his arms.The boy remained silent for a few minutes.

　

Then,realising he couldn`t convince his foster father,he shyly started speaking:"I don`t wanna go to a doctor."Although Lin knew it was the first real piece of information he got he was even more confused than before."Why not?He`ll help you."Alex scoffed."No,he won`t.He`ll tell me stuff i can`t escape from,that will take people from me,that will take me from here.Everytime something in my life went wrong some doctor told me the cold,unbearable facts like he was reading out of a childrens book.I`m sick of it.I don`t want it again."

　

Lin sighed and looked down at the boy.He knew that Alex was sick and that he needed medical attention but he hated dragging him some place he was scared off."It won`t be like that this time.He`ll take a look at you,maybe prescribe you something and half an hour later we`ll be back here.You won`t lose this or anyone."he promised and stroked Alexs hair.He still wasn`t fully convinced."You can`t be totally sure of that."he stated and Lin nodded."You can`t be totally sure of anything.But i`m really damn sure."Alex noticed his eyes fluttering shut more and more."Lin,i`m really tired."Lin tucked him under his blanket again and positioned pillows around him."Just sleep,mijo."he muttered and Alex let go and fell asleep immediately.

　

When he woke up Lin was sitting in the corner of the room,reading.Noticing Alex waking he looked up."Slept good?" "Better than in a long time."Alex replied."Have you been here the whole night?"Lin grinned."Yeah." "You realise how creepy that is,right?"he laughed and Lin joined in.

　

Sitting in the car half an hour later he didn`t feel like laughing anymore.Lin took a look at him and sighed."Mijo,do you remember what i told you last night?"Alex nodded."You know it`s true,right?"Alex nodded lightly again."Yeah.I´m still kinda scared though."Now it was Lins turn to nod."I know.You need to experience that theres no reason to be scared to stop being scared.Just hold on there,okay?"Alex let those words go through his mind and realised they were right."Will you be with me the whole time?"he asked."The whole time."Lin assured.

　

Another half an hour later Alex sank into the car seat again."You know,the fear was worse than the acctual thing."

　

**Author's Note:**

> yoyoyo soo i decided that im gonna write four more of these,till im up to 15.i feel like it`s coming to an end and i wanna work on a chaptered fic i`ve been thinking about.I`d love to have a beta reader for said fic so if any of you is interested in helping my sorry ass out,message me on tumblr.EDIT:found one.thanks to everyone who also requested themselves,you`re all too great <3 Thanks for all the love and support,guys!
> 
> Tumblr:target-for-far-away-laughter


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